I run three weekly online D&D games on OpenRPG. This is an excerpt from a Forgotten Realms campaign that occurred about a year or so ago. I still get a kick whenever I read the log. Enjoy.
* * *
** (1) Vadania takes her sword and cuts a deep gash in the belly of the Hobgoblin after removing the armor and morning star **
** (3) Amreth steps across the intersection, and graps the handle of the north door, cracking it open to get a look inside. **
** (29) Joryn glances at the bird calls. “Those aren’t exactly common around here, I’d wager. Keep ‘em down.” **
** (20) Ruth carefully creeps through the door into the next room to avoid the soon-to-be-waking ape. She waits next to the wall near the door and lets those stealthier handle recon. **
** (3) Amreth frowns down at Fildin, whispering, “Got one down the hall there, sweeping the floor. I’ll see what I can do, his back’s to me,” he says, opening the door just enough to slip through. **
** (1) Vadania finishes up and drags the armor though the door and closes it almost all the way, leaving a small crack for her to look through **
** (8) Olbernath quietly speaks, “If we come accross a live hobgoblin, I may be able to charm him. It might get us some useful information, assuming he can speak the common tongue.” **
** (6) Fildin nods to Amreth as he takes off again, and keeps everyone else quiet as they come through the door. **
** (3) Amreth slips through, and, back to the wall, he creeps along behind the hobgoblin, trying to get close enough without alerting him. **
(6) Fildin: *whispers* “Well, I think it’s too late for that ne Amreth just saw, but there is at least one in this room,” he says as he points to the double doors.
** Grinkle mutters to himself. **
(19) Grinkle: “Me hab to sweep dis flor. Hmph. Grrr.”
** (3) Amreth swallows hard as the bastards turns around, and holds for a moment, cursing himself for not acting instead of telling the hin first. **
** Grinkle looks up and sneezes, then continues sweeping. “Dis no fun.” **
(19) Grinkle: “Me neber hab time to play hob gamez. Grumble grumble.”
** Grinkle looks up and sneezes again, and then drops the broom, saying “HAY! I GIB UP!” **
(19) Grinkle: “Dun hurtz me!” (throws up his hands and quivers as he looks at Amreth)
** Grinkle covers his face with his hands, raising a finger to peek out, cringing. **
** (8) Olbernath mutters to himself, “Hmph… this would be a waste of an enchantment…” **
** Grinkle sees Amreth charging and drops to the floor, fainting. **
** (3) Amreth blinks once, then motions the hobgoblin close, flashing one of his blade, whispering, “Don’t want to kill you, mate. But I will have if you don’t come here,” he says, sticking a pair of fingers into a pouch and producing a single gold coin, “No tricks, I’ll give you this if you give me a word or.. Nevermind.” **
** (3) Amreth shrugs to himself, and walks over to the fainted hobgoblin, and thinks a moment, “Now why’d you have to do and do that?” **
** (3) Amreth slips his sword away, and draws his last dager, cutting free a strip of leather from his armor to gag him, before trying to drag his sorry ass back the way he came, to the others, and the pit where he’s of a mind to dump him. **
** Grinkle wakes up after being dragged roughly through the door and gags. “Mmmph!” **
** (29) Joryn holds a hammer threateningly. “Quiet!” he hisses at the bound hobgoblin. **
(19) DM: Amreth comes back the way he came, dragging a hobgoblin that’s been gagged with a strip of leather. The hobgoblin is vainly trying to talk.
(19) Grinkle: “Mmmph! Grak! Mppmph!”
** (3) Amreth drags him into the beast’s pen and gently props him against the wall, pointing a finger at his nose, “Now you be quiet, I don’t want to hurt you.” **
** (6) Fildin looks from Amreth to Olbernath. “Then again….” **
** Grinkle sighs. **
** (8) Olbernath arches an eyebrow. **
** (3) Amreth picks out the coin again, and places it in the hobgoblin’s hand, before drawing a dagger and leveling it at his adam’s apple, “Gonna take that out of your mouth, and if you yell, this here goes through your throat, understand?” **
(19) Grinkle: “Plsssmph dmpph hmmmph mpmmmph!”
** (6) Fildin follows Amreth back into the pit room to see what the prisoner has to say. **
(3) Amreth: “Well, I’ll take that as an agreement,” and with that, he pulls the gag, “Now you be quiet, except to tell us how many of your kin are here. How many?”
(19) Grinkle: “Lotz. Nub hurtz me!”
(29) Joryn: “Speak quietly, too!” He glares at the prisoner, glancing around he room for any threats.
(3) Amreth: “Not gonna hurt you, I’m gonna let you go. We’re going to let you go. Show me how many are here, on your fingers.”
** Grinkle whines, “Okay.” **
** (8) Olbernath smirks, “You really grabbed the cream o’ the crop.” **
** Grinkle holds up both hands. **
** (1) Hile walks up with Vadania on his back **
** (3) Amreth waits a moment, wondering if that’s the whole count he’s going to give. **
** Grinkle holds up nine more fingers. **
(3) Amreth: “Nineteen, huh.”
(19) Grinkle: “Lotz.” (nodding)
(6) Fildin: “That will keep us busy…” Fildin mutters.
** (8) Olbernath looks dubious of Grinkle’s counting ability. **
(3) Amreth: “Hope that’s accurate, for your sake. So, what’s your name?”
(19) Grinkle: “Big cheez in da bed place.”
(19) Grinkle: “Him Julla.”
(19) Grinkle: “Me Grinkle.”
(1) Vadania: “You complain about me trying to save an animal and you are going to let one of them go free?”
(3) Amreth: “Julla, that’s good. Alright, Grinkle, you see this?” he asks, picking another lion out of his pouch, “This is yours, too. No more rat piss ale for Grinkle.”
** (20) Ruth keeps watch outside the interrogation, listening quietly by the door. **
(3) Amreth: “He’s of no threat to us, the beast was.”
(19) Grinkle: “Okay.”
** Grinkle stares at the lion like a small child. **
** (3) Amreth places that coin, too, in Grinkle’s hand, “Anyone got some rope?” **
** (1) Vadania snorts but says nothing **
** (6) Fildin shakes his head no. **
(19) Grinkle: “Yub tak me wid yub?”
(3) Amreth: “Well, cut that leather armor up, will you, and tie this sucker up?” he tries to plug Grinkle’s mouth with the gag again, “Don’t worry, big fella.”
(19) Grinkle: “Smut an’ Cheff in da boo…da boo…da smartz place.”
** (3) Amreth withdraws the gag, “Oh, one more thing, where’s this bed place?” **
** Grinkle points back where you found him. **
(1) Vadania: “You willin to help us kill the others?”
(19) Grinkle: “Me nub gud killin. Me bedder at foodin.”
** (29) Joryn narrows his eyes at the hobgoblin. “Books?” **
** (3) Amreth cocks a brow at the hobgoblin, “Down the hall where you came from?” **
(19) Grinkle: “Yub. Da boo…da boo…da smartz place.”
(19) Grinkle: “Um, near dere. Down dere.”
(3) Amreth: “Well, we know what we need to, generally. Numbers and locations of important kin of his,” he says, stuffing the gag back in his mouth while he’s speaking, “You stay quiet, and stay put, and I’ll personally treat you to roast boar once we’re done here and we come back to set you off on your own.”
(6) Fildin: “Yep, a layout would definately have helped us…”
** (29) Joryn raises a brow at the others. “D’yeh think these idiots would be able t’ learn wizardry?” **
** (3) Amreth tries to help the hobber up first, “I doubt it, but anything’s possible I guess. Stupidity isn’t universal among any of the intelligent critters. Might be whoever this Smut is, isn’t one of his kin.” **
** (8) Olbernath grunts, “Be surprised if this one could tie his own bootlaces.” **
(6) Fildin: “Well, are we ready to go then? It appears we have a lot more to remove.”
** (29) Joryn growls. “Might be… we should be careful anyway” **
** (3) Amreth lookds to Vadania, “And do you think he can be trusted to comply? He’s more likely to be emboldened in proximity to his more capable kin, and set them on us.” **
** (1) Vadania nods “Would be a fun game for him to play” **
(1) Vadania: “Grinkle do you like games?”
** (3) Amreth removes the gag for the moment. **
** (20) Ruth peeks in from the door to add, “If one of them is smart enough to use wizardry, yet is not big cheez, Julla must be pretty capable as well.” **
** Grinkle nods. **
(19) Grinkle: “Yub.”
(3) Amreth: “How ’bout games that earn you a whole heap of shinies?”
(19) Grinkle: “Me nub inter…inter….lik shinies.”
(19) Grinkle: “Me lik fud.”
(3) Amreth: “Yeah, and how’s your kin feed ya? I bet they give you scraps, don’t they?”
(19) Grinkle: “Yub.” (frown)
(19) Grinkle: “Oooo who dere?”
** Grinkle looks this way and that. **
(19) Grinkle: “Sumwun tak in hed.”
** (3) Amreth waits for Vanadia to relay her idea to him. **
** (3) Amreth points to the hin druid, for his edification. **
** (1) Vadania smiles “Sorry Grinkle that was me. So would you be willing to help us get rid of the others?” **
(19) Grinkle: “Me wan fud. Me lik fud. Me hungry.”
(19) Grinkle: “Um okay.”
(19) Grinkle: “Me bedder foodin, nub killin.”
(1) Vadania: “Do you think you could get the others to come down here one at a time?”
** (3) Amreth chews his inner cheek a moment, then hides his dagger away, and drops his pack to the floor, picking his way through its contents, and dropping a bundle of salted pork and hardtack buscuits in his lap, “This’ll have to do for the moment.” **
** (3) Amreth stands to his feet, and wanders over to where the guttered hobgoblin lay to collect his other dagger he’d forgotten about. **
** (1) Vadania waits quietly for Grinkle’s response **
(19) Grinkle: “Hm. Some onyuns, an leebs an….hm.” (thinks)
(19) Grinkle: “Okay.”
** (1) Vadania digs into her Herb pouch and pulls out some Oregano, Asparagus Root, and Chives. “These may be good to cook with” **
(19) Grinkle: “Yub.” (takes the herbs)
(1) Vadania: “Ok now before you can do any cooking, We need you to get one of the others down here without telling him we are down here”
(19) Grinkle: “Um, okay. But…but…you wan big cheez too?”
(1) Vadania: “Not right away, just one of his cornies for now”
(19) Grinkle: “Okay.”
** Grinkle gets up shakily, then looks out the doorway. “Me go gets Lucky now.” **
** (3) Amreth retrieves his dagger, and walks back over to crouch next to Grinkle, “Look, mate. I don’t really care if you’re goblin kin, or if you’re a dwarf. I don’t want to kill you unless I have to. I’d personally rather you go on livin’ and eatin’, since you’re nub good at the killin’. You’ve not harmed me, so I won’t harm you. But if you cross us in this, that changes the rules. You can die with your kin, or you can go on living and stuffing your belly. Your choice.” **
(19) Grinkle: “Huh?”
** Grinkle looks dumbly at Amreth. “Lotz…lotz…lotza words.” **
(1) Vadania: “Ok Grinkle, after you gets Lucky you can cook all of some food”
(3) Amreth: “Never mind, Grinkle. Just get to it, and don’t cross us, will you?”
(19) Grinkle: “Um, okay.” (sets out the door shakily then walks up the wooden stairs)
(3) Amreth: “This’ll never work.”
** (1) Vadania looks around the room for a place that Hile can hide **
(3) Amreth: “Even if he’s meaning to do what we ask, he’s about to piss his pants.”
(6) Fildin: “Then why send him off?” Fildin just shakes his head slightly.
** (3) Amreth shrugs, “Don’t really feel like arguing, and it wasn’t my idea anyway. **
(1) Vadania: “Lets just setup the ambush”
(6) Fildin: “Spokes, rim, axles… spokes, rims axles…” he mutters a few times.
** (1) Vadania mews to hile points to a dark corner **
** (3) Amreth shrugs, and positions himself near the door, back against the wall, swords drawn, and whispers a quiet prayer to Tymora for heaping helping of sheer, dumb luck. **
** (6) Fildin moves back across the pit to the relative safety of the far side. **
** (1) Vadania quickly finds some place to hide and wait **
** (20) Ruth comes back to the room suppressing laughter, “I can hardly wait to find out what he will bring back.” **
** (6) Fildin tries to find something to hide behind over there, where he can still watch what happens. **
(20) Ruth: “Julla probably would not believe him if he told the truth anyway.”
** (3) Amreth frowns at her, “Hopefully not a whole host of his kin. I’d hate to kill ‘em. Far as hobgoblins go, he’s a right nice fellow. An you know, he was cleanin’. You could have yourself your first indentured servant, if he survives.” **
